Why I study English? (part of my Cross Cultural Understanding assignment in the 6th semester)
Talking about my experience in English is rather thrilling. There are silly -maybe funny stories behind it; sometimes I could laugh out loud recalling those memories back. People said it is somewhat usual and nothing’s far-fetched, but hey, we could have different outlook at all times, right?
Basically, I have been learning English around 8-9 years, started when I was in 1st grade of junior high school. At that moment, the only thing I knew about the language was kind of simple expressions like “yes”, “no”, “sorry” and other words which never far from common utterances. I would say, it is always hard for the first time, yes it was. Thus, no wonder that I got 20 as the score (from scale 10-100) on my first trial. This shocking-embarrassing- moment would never be forgotten. I still remember how I cried whole night long, thinking why could it happen. I’m not saying that I was genius, but I hadn’t got any grade under 65 in almost every test, whatever the subjects, before. But actually, I was pretty much familiar with English because my aunt spoke so fluently; she used to talk to my cousin a lot in English and I just thought ‘oh damn, they are such a cool family and no way I could understand about what they’re discussing’. Not to my surprise, my aunt had travelled across the countries due to her career as a LSM researcher. Since then, her experiences taught me how to dream, and somehow encouraged me to put on my best effort in learning. I think she was the first person in my imagined community. Besides, I was so overwhelmed by the thought that I want to be like her someday, to live and study abroad.
The positive side of getting a bad mark on the test motivated me to get a better grade. I studied harder than before, trying to involve English in my daily activities as much as I can. Little later then I realized that I start to love it, and that is because I’m use to it. So I read a lot, any of English books I could find. I also listening some English songs, which is what I like the most. Every so often I found many difficult vocabularies in the lyric, and then I would look them up in the dictionary. I supposed that those activities helped me a lot in learning. As a result, my grades were getting better like I really wanted. Soon enough I felt that English is my most favorite subject matter, more than the other natural or social sciences. Consequently, I chose language stream as my field of study when I was in senior high school, and this is the reason why I’m pursuing my bachelor degree in English Department of Satya Wacana Christian University.
I came to this department with lots of expectations in my thoughts. There were so many images flashing through my mind, if I had the ability to speak English, I could be anything that I want. But somehow gradually I understand that it was not easy to reach out all of those dreams of mine. As I’m not so studious, at times I found it difficult to have discipline and consistency in learning. Gaining good grades wasn’t as simple as I think; I got to work hard on several subjects, especially grammar and those with loads of things to memorize. I had a troublesome with my long-term memory; I couldn’t stand being stuffed up with numerous numbers of theories at the same time. Hence, learning in a group is much easier and helpful. My friends and I would like to study together; we shared our difficulties, exchanged our knowledge each other, and most of the time we succeed. Yet still, I must do the study by myself after all because I don’t want to be dependant on the others.
In the meantime, my hobby on chatting was actually beneficial in helping me to improve my English. Started when I was in the 2nd grade of senior high school, there was a friend of mine who introduced me to MIG33 – a mobile chatting application. It turned out to be a hit, a trend of socializing, at least for my generation at that time. Since then, I happened to love chatting because I got a lot of friends from outside Indonesia. Currently I’m no longer using MIG33 anymore, but I keep on chatting with my fellows through MSN, Yahoo, GTalk, Twitter or even Facebook. There were so many things I could learn from them. And for these reason, I think English has affected my culture, especially on how I see things differently, and how I could grasp the positive habitual from others and use it for the sake of developing my own personality. Well I guess that’s what I have discovered so far.
Recognizing my self as an Intercultural English Speaker
Since English become a global language, the trend of using English spreads everywhere. As Caloborante (2011) stated, the growth of non-native English speakers has added a new dimension to the English Language known as “intercultural English” which is transforming the language from a symbol of national identity to an intercultural communication. She also added that intercultural English is a method of global communication that facilitates development of relationship across cultures and countries which appear as a critical skill that can influence all aspects of life.
From the statements above, I can assume that the existence of non-native English speakers influenced the development of English language. Thus I’m proud to be a non-native English speaker, because at second hand I happen to be a part of intercultural English speakers which contributed little transformation to global language. However, became an intercultural English speaker is not cool as it seems. I still remember my first awkward experience when I started learning. As I have already become bilingual person (Javanese-Indonesian), it is not easy to acquire the third language since the language itself only to be learned through formal education such primary and high schools. Even until I took English as my major in university, I admit that I still have difficulties in communicating the language. It’s not just about the structure and vocabulary, but it’s more on the culture that affects the ability to achieve the language. I realize that English has its own culture and idioms for the people in English speaking countries, and that would be different from English non-speaking countries. Learning a new language also means learning new culture, and I know how hard it is to ‘put our legs on other shoes’; it is like adapting ourselves in new surroundings. A concrete example from my experience is once when I speak to my fellow who is American; I had difficulty on understanding ‘slang words’ that she often used. And every time I asked what she meant by those slang words, she grew tired in explaining and we ended up using Standard English as the medium communication. It seemed not a big deal, but I soon become conscious that we lost a real feeling, underlying meaning of the words when we talked about something (which actually I can express it with natural emotion in Bahasa).
These failures left me wondering about my ability in performing the language, am I not good enough? I confess that my knowledge of the language is limited; therefore would it be bad for my self when I have to be in contact with real world which involves people from English speaking countries? I don’t know either it is good or bad, but I’m trying my best to improve my self as an intercultural English speaker. I’m still learning though, and I believe that continuous learning will do its job.
