Insecurities...

LIST of MY IMPERFECTIONS

• I've been too scared to admit that I never have the gut to challenge myself with other perspectives, other actions, and other things that I longed to do but I never did. I'm capable of doing many cool things but I kept myself from taking the risks and backed out instead. I have talents to be explored and developed, yet I held my steps by ignoring the chances I had. I'm a pessimist, that's my character, and don't blame me for who I am because I was born with that character.
• I'm too dependent  on my parents, yes I still do, until now. Can't let any single problems without their interference. I hardly had any big decisions without asking them, I chose to follow sometimes. But when I have my own will, I would not even share or even listen to others although my own decisions seem absurd or all wrong. Yes, curse me for this stupid brain. 
• I can never be confident with my appearance. Being that chubby-kid all of your life do many things to you, if you know what I mean. 
• Yes, it's a fact that I'm having a trust issue. So what? I'm that kind of person who trust nobody, like I don't trust myself. Don't blame me for who I am now as I have that scar that can't be healed. You never be me, and you don't know the life I'm living. I don't give that much shit about how you live your own life too, so why bother mine?
• I don't do details, I'm practical but I'm not that logical. You know what I mean.

okay, maybe these are my excuses of being imperfect person after all..but still..nobody's perfect, right?

Now the problem is... I want to change. I don't want to keep these negatives on me... I will still be myself, but I want to fix all the broken parts of my brain and my attitude...somebody help me please..................................